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The Ice Pirates

1984

Stewart Raffill
Director
MGM
Studio

In the far future, water is the most sought-after commodity in the universe (kind of like Tank Girl, only not really stupid), and pirates make their depredations upon water tankers, not galleons bearing gold.

I am apparently the only person who thinks this cheap and cheerful slice of 80s cheese is a lot of fun; a decent sci-fi film in its own right, while being an amusing comedy as well (unlike Spaceballs, which is far too schticky to succeed at either). Deserves to have a better following than it does. Certainly it's better sci-fi entertainment than The Phantom Menace! Plus it has space herpes, too. . . that's a plus, right?

The acting is highly variable to say the least, but Symonds stands out--his performance belongs in a much better film.

Note: IMDb for some reason says Max von Sydow is in this. Now while, he has a penchant for appearing in lousy science fiction films, I really don't think he added this one to his CV! And once again, the credits list people by names that are mentioned nowhere in the finished film, which is kind of a pain in the butt.

-Dave W.

CountryArtworkTitleReleaseFormatRatingRuntime (Mins)Aspect
The Ice Pirates
16th March 1984
Cinema

91
1.85:1

Amazon
The Ice Pirates
15th February 2005
DVD

94
1.85:1




Robert Urich
Jason
Mary Crosby
Princess Karina
Michael D. Roberts
Roscoe
Anjelica Huston
Maida
John Matuszak
Killjoy
Ron Perlman
Zeno
Bruce Vilanch
Wendon
John Carradine
Supreme Commander
Natalie Core
Nanny
Jeremy West
Zorn
Alan Caillou
Count Paisley
Marcia Lewis
Frog Lady
Daryl Keith Roach
Fitzcairn / Prisoner
(as Daryl Roach)
Robert Symonds
Lanky Nibs
Gary Brockette
Percy the Robot
Rockne Tarkington
Patch
Ian Abercrombie
Hymie
Dolores Albin
Old Karina
Hank Worden
Elderly Jason
Bonnie Campbell-Britton
Dara
Carmen Filpi
Vendor
John Gillespie
Dogbite
Patty Maloney
Waitress
Shane McCamey
Templar Crewman
Ralph Meyering Jr.
Templar Crewman
(as Ralph Meyerling Jr.)
Myron Natwick
Karina's Father
Raymond Skipp
Doper
Debra Troyer
Blonde Girl
Diana Webster
Seamstress
Richard Young
Debs
Sander Johnson
Political Prisoner
Steffen Zacharias
Prisoner
Unknown
Pirate
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Templar Guarding Ice Hold
Unknown
Templar Guarding Ice Hold
Unknown
Templar on Bridge
Unknown
Templar on Bridge
Unknown
Slave on Bridge
Unknown
Slave on Bridge
Unknown
Templar on Bridge
Unknown
Templar on Bridge
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Frightened Prisoner
Ira S. Rosenstein
The Monk
(uncredited)
Unknown
Line Worker
Unknown
Line Worker
Unknown
Line Worker
Unknown
Line Worker
Unknown
Line Worker
Unknown
Line Worker
Unknown
Templar
Ron Taylor
Pimp Robot (voice)
(uncredited)
Unknown
Templar
Unknown
Beak
Unknown
Shoeshine Boy

Dave Wright: Screencaps & Notes